Although we were gone just 4 nights, we certainly packed a lot in, and I had an interesting time analyzing (what else?) all the thoughts and emotions that arose from the experience. Hong Kong is as western and cosmopolitan as Jiaozuo is Chinese and rural. The contrast, while welcome on many levels, was really quite striking.
If I could sum up our Hong Kong experience in just one word, I think I would choose comfortable. More than just familiar, it really was about comfort and falling, almost effortlessly, back into the lifestyle that we have at home. Physically it was awesome. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually...it gave me pause. Could we really just forget the children and adults we have come to love? Could we really enjoy, without a twinge of sadness (or guilt?), the comforts that some of them will never even dream of? Is it really that easy to just leave it all behind?
The trip also cost a lot of money, more than I could certainly afford, but I didn't (and don't) regret it, it was a great time of rest and reconnecting for the four of us. But still...there is an element of *we deserve it* in that statement that makes me distinctly UNcomfortable.
Since we are half way through our time in China, I have been thinking about what's next. Do we return at the end of the summer or do I find work back in the US? (CAN I find work back in the US???) Is this a life and a lifestyle that is meant for the long term or do we add this experience to our lifestory and move on? All this came to the forefront while we were at Disneyland as I realized just how much I was reminded of home. The weather, the language, the food, Disney itself and the lifestyle that it represents...this was who we were. The question then is, is this who we still are? I began to see this as a somewhat pivotal experience ... would we return to Eagles Wings rested and refreshed, and happy to be *home* or would the time away provide a stark contrast to the life we are living and make us dissatisfied and homesick?
I wish I had the answer, but I think it will emerge over time. If the only criterion was the welcome we got when we returned to Eagles Wings 2, it would be easy. The shout of welcome from the big kids and the huge smiles from the babies spoke volumes about what our time here means to them. Whatever the decision that we make, I know that the one thing we will not be is unchanged.
3 comments:
Amazing thoughts. We should all have such an experience. What grounding. The only guidance that I can offer, is not to compare. Do what is right for you.
Thanks so much for writing.
xxoosink
You will return, always, a little changed. Embrace the change- let it give you those intangible gifts. Bring those gifts with you- they may be wrapped in the negative or in the positive, but once unwrapped, they are always, I believe, reveal a piece of the truth- and the truth is always beautiful.
We can never return unchanged. And life, as a wise priest and monk once said to me, is a "mixed bag". There is always a little good and a little bad. But it's ultimately FOR the good.
ps. i hope my submission to sponsor came through. and i posted about EW on my blog today.
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