Ready....Set....Wait!

Well, that's what it feels like, but I am again cautiously optimistic that we are in the home stretch. We have a signed offer on our home as do our buyers. Both are contingent on getting financing, of course, and adequate appraisals on both houses. A few years ago those things were hardly even a concern, but now it's impossible to be certain. There aren't any specific red flags so think we are finally in the final stages of this move.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! It's an emotional time for all of us. It's also hard to pinpoint any one emotion; there are so many and they compete for my attention.

Panic   There is a little bit of panic about getting everything done. While the house is all sorted, I have to make big progress in getting boxes actually sealed up. Today would be great. Our storage container needs to be loaded (for which we will need some strong armed help) and moved. There are also so many things that I have consciously put off, waiting for confirmation of our plans. Like ordering the home school materials. Travel arrangements for the dogs. My CPR class (well, that one I have just procrastinated on, no good reason).  Ordering a year's worth of contact lenses. Finding some winter clothes in my size to take since I will not be able to get anything there. Well, I might be able to get mittens. ;)

Excited  Yes, excited, very excited. But you notice it comes after panic. lol A new job, a new home, a new life. So very, very excited to see the children we love so much and the staff who are as dear to us as family. The girls don't seem too excited yet. They take each day as it comes for the most part. I think it will seem more real to them as things start leaving the house again and once we have a real date. When we have a real date I know that Panic and Excitement will reach crescendo levels for me!

Sad  I need to find a better word than sad. We aren't truly sad, and there isn't any regret. But it's still hard to leave. Marissa moved from Kansas but she doesn't really remember; Kristen only knows this house, and Lindsay started her American life here five years ago. No one is fearful or sad about what we are going to, it's just that it's hard to leave our friends, our dogs, this house, this life. The hardest part for all of us is that we aren't just going to China and putting this life on hold, waiting for us to return someday. With the house sold, it feels totally different, like pushing the STOP button rather than PAUSE. Mournful, I think that's better. We are mourning the life we are losing. I guess that is a little sad.

Scared  Hmm, true confessions. The girls aren't scared at all. Not a bit, and that's good. I don't want them to be scared. They should not be scared. I will always take care of them; they need to always be secure in that. But, heck, it's scary! Moving around the world, three children, no visible means of support. We are still $900/month short of support, but our funds are depleted even more every month we stay here, so it IS time to go. Relying on the kindness of strangers (and strange friends -- I love you every one!) to support us. Navigating the minefields of working cross-culturally with the lives and futures of 70 children at stake --  the often intimidating "opportunity" of working within the Chinese system, learning the language, and the inevitable equivocation of my Chinese employees. Yup, a little bit scary.

I'd better go get packing...or reserving flights...or ordering school materials...or... well, you get the idea.